Email: nel_ani@yahoo.se Rating: NC-17 Category: Angst Pairing: J/D Disclaimer: Not mine. Season: Season 5 Spoilers: Nope. Summary: Wherein Jack is suspiciously clever and
Daniel doesn't inspire trust Author's Notes: This started out as a PWP, but I
couldn't help making it all angsty and ridding it of that label. Found
it half-finished on my hard drive and vowed to finish it tonight,
and here we are.
Thanks, as always, to Suz who puts up with my insecurities and kicks
ass in the beta department.
*
Jack fucked me hard, keeping my head immobilized between his hands
and my eyes locked with his. My hands were above my head, sliding
rhythmically against the pillow.
I ached to touch him, to touch myself, but he’d told me not to move
and he was running the show tonight.
His eyes were glazing over as his pace increased, his ragged breathing
matching mine and I couldn’t help but involuntary clench around him
as he hit that spot that sent flashes of ecstasy throughout my body.
Groaning loudly, his eyes narrowed as he fought to keep them open,
an enticing drop of sweat running down his face to his neck where
I knew the skin was surprisingly smooth.
In the beginning he’d slid in and out smoothly, his even rhythm driving
me insane; now he barely pulled out before slamming back in with such
force that the bed creaked alarmingly beneath us.
His face contorted as he moved frantically two, three, four final
thrusts, and then he slumped down, head hanging while he kept his
weight on his arms and off me.
Still half-hard, he slid out of me before pulling his condom off.
He pointedly ignored my erection as he slipped a new one on and flipped
me over.
I had time for a quick and unsatisfying hump against the bed before
he pulled me up on my hands and knees and slid back in, balls deep.
I moaned shamelessly and pushed back against him. However intense
the feeling of being face to face was, this position was more physically
satisfying, the penetration deeper. He had to grab my hips hard to
keep me from moving.
I could feel him harden fully inside me – for a man of forty-five
he had fucking fine recuperation time.
He moved first my left, then my right hand to the headboard in front
of me, making me stretch my back out and hang my head down. The thought
of how I must have looked to him was really fucking exciting.
He started fucking me again, slow and hard and deep and for a couple
of years at least. Long enough for me to chant out broken words of
“please, oh god, please, please, I’m sorry, *god*, yesyesyes”.
It was heaven and it was hell; I wanted him to fuck me to death and
I wanted him to put me out of my misery.
After a long time, he pushed me down just far enough so that the
tip of my swollen cock touched the sheets and stopped moving. His
hot breath tickled against my ear and only the tightness in his voice
revealed how close he was to the edge. “Make yourself come.”
Some part of my brain recognized the fact that he hadn’t said that
I could move my hands, so I slid off him, groaning as the bed created
sweet friction against my dick, then slid back onto his cock.
It didn’t take long; after a few minutes of me screwing myself on
him, I was whimpering and Jack was sobbing against my neck.
The game was over when he pushed me flat on the bed and humped against
me like an animal. The sudden pressure on my over-sensitized cock
made me shoot helplessly, biting into the pillow as my body shook
with both the force of my climax as well as Jack’s finishing thrusts.
His balls slapped against my ass and he mouthed my neck frantically;
he would never bite me, not even when I begged him to.
He rutted against me a few more times as I slumped against the bed,
then his weight settled on my back, his panting breath loud in my
ear, weighing me down in a way that was wonderful. Although probably
wouldn’t be in a few more minutes.
Any feeling of comfort went away sooner than expected as he pulled
out and rolled off me, laying on his back, arm covering his eyes.
His voice was still breathless as he spoke. "This was the last
time, Daniel. I'm not kidding. If you want to be with someone else,
then make a clean break."
I shifted until I was laying on my back as well, staring at the ceiling.
"She didn't mean anything."
"Then why'd you do it?" Still not looking at me.
I owed him the truth. At least. "Because you never make me feel
more alive than when you find out and make me pay."
His voice was strangled. "God. Daniel." I saw him moving
his arm from his eyes at the edge of my vision.
I swallowed. "You asked."
"Yeah. I did." I sensed rather than saw him looking at
me.
"So...what are you going to do?"
"I don't know,” he said quietly. “I can't keep doing this, Daniel."
I nodded. "I know."
"Do you? ‘Cause you sure don't act that way." He must have
seen something in my face, because a second later he was propping
himself up on an elbow. "That's it, isn't it? You're waiting
for me to dump you?"
I didn't say anything.
"Because if I dump you for something you did,” he continued,
sounding both disbelieving and certain at once, “it's not because
of something you are."
Sometimes I really wished that Jack would be consistent with playing
dumb. "You choose now to be insightful?"
"If I was so insightful,” he said tiredly, “I would have realized
that you're more fucked up than I am a long time ago."
I turned my head to look at him and immediately regretted the action.
His eyes weren’t angry enough to let me respond in kind; they just
made me feel guilty. "I'm just...not easy to be with."
He frowned. "What, you mean besides the whole cheating on me
the moment I turn my back thing?"
I nodded once, sharply."Yeah."
Jack’s eyebrows rose. "*Besides* that?"
I gritted my teeth. "Yes."
He laughed incredulously. "Daniel, don't you get it? There *is*
nothing besides that."
I snorted. "Please. There's nothing we see eye to eye on."
He was shaking his head before I’d finished speaking. "That's
not true."
"Really," I said sceptically.
"Really.” He tilted his head to the side in a very un-Jackish
gesture. “Are you worried about the arguing?"
"That part usually hints on the whole non-eye to eye thing,"
I said dryly.
Jack looked at me like he’d never seen me before. Maybe he hadn’t.
"You're unbelievable. You're worried that I'll get sick of you
because you argue with me so you fuck anything on two legs so I will?"
Okay, saying it like that…"...you make it sound like a bad idea."
"Oh dear god.” Jack closed his eyes, a pained expression on
his face. “Aren't you supposed to be the smart one?” He opened his
eyes again and looked at me in that way that I'd never be able to
shake off. “Shouldn't you get that you're the catch in this relationship?"
"You may not have noticed, but I don't have the best track record
with relationships."
He didn’t look impressed. "I swear to god, Daniel, if you're
turning this into some childhood thing..."
I wasn’t. "I'm not. I'm just... I don't get what you see in
me,” I said simply. “No tragic childhood thing.” I moved my fingers
above my chest. “Cross my heart."
Jack sighed and looked away. "As though I know the first thing
about your heart."
I swallowed. "You know too much."
"Well, that makes me feel much better."
The statement lacked the usual sarcasm I’d expect from Jack and somehow,
that more than anything made me realize the consequences of my actions.
"I've really made a mess of things, haven't I?"
He looked at me silently for a moment. "Yeah, you have. And
this is the last time, Daniel. Once more, and I'm not the one ending
this thing. You are."
"I was sure you would. This time."
He looked at me hard. "Is that what you want?"
"No."
"Good. Then don't do it." Jack stretched casually and sat
on the edge of the bed, discussion closed. I could see the tension
in his shoulders, though. I was missing something.
Jack was an easy-going guy, but he had his pride. Anyone wanted proof
for that, they could come and watch him refuse to give in to the goa'uld
of the week because of it. There was no end to his sarcasm in those
situations, because giving in to fear would be a blow to his pride,
and he'd never give anyone that satisfaction.
Only. He just had.
I crawled across the bed and kissed Jack's shoulder, feeling him
relax slightly. "I'm sorry. I won't do it again."